I'm back!

People who have this surgery often refer to the surgery as being on the other side. I always thought that was very dramatic. It's not. The last 5 days have been the most physically and mentally trying of my life.  "The other side" is truly the most apt way to describe it.

It's really hard to put the past week into words and really, that'd require a lot of words.  I'm sure I'll remember more as time passes but for now,  I think I'll just give you the highlights.

12 hour surgery

I never understood why everyone was concerned about the length of my surgery. I mean, don't they do 20 hour surgeries on Grey's Anatomy every week?  Perhaps the gambit of prep-op tests should have tipped me.  To me, it felt like a really long nap. I was asleep by 745am and was awake just after 10pm.  When I awoke, I heard the team around me talking about the Pacers playoff game and then it dawned on me that an entire day had gone by.  That's a long time. My husband had spent just under 16 hours in the waiting room. 

Physically, a super long surgery is also "no-joke."  Breathing is difficult, regaining your mental faculties, etc. it was rough.

Valium

Holy balls Valium is crazy stuff. I've taken it twice while in the hospital.  The plastics team suggested it when I developed an incredible tightness in my chest...like someone was ruthlessly yanking on my frankenboobies. Valium calms down that sensation and really, Valium knocks me out LL cool J style. Guaranteed nap time after a Valium.

Frankenboobies 

This is the affectionate name I've given my new girls. It's not that they are crazy ugly, they are actually quite beautifully shaped...and perky. I do, however, have serious scars right now. I still have some purple drawings everywhere too. The scars will fade and eventually the sharpie will wash off.   I have very little feeling/sensation in them. I also have no problem showing the girls to people. I no longer have nipples so I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to walk around topless now! (3d nipple tattoos to come in about a year or so!) I guess you could say, with the new "girls" I'm a bit less reserved and feel like after what I've been through, they ought to be shown off!  The last day or so, in the hospital, I'd taken to going topless. After they removed my bandages the gown was irritating so I'd just gotten rid of all tops. Moral of the story, if you plan to visit, I'll likely offer you a peak, after all , they are just my frankenboobies!

My friends and family. 

My first day of recovery was rough, figuring out pain control etc.  Berkley, my best friend-I've spoken of her before, is a nurse in dc, and because she likes an extra hard challenge, is finishing up her last semester of a nurse anesthesists degree. Well Berk couldn't make it here so she was constantly talking with Jay and my mom, having them send pictures if monitors and at one point, had a very aggressive "mama bear" moment and managed to take care of me by having some "chats" with my entire care team about my pain management.  Berk, I know it killed you not to be here but I get it and I love you and can't wait to see you in a few weeks!

Secondly, my local girls. Thanks so much! Your texts, visits, etc. thanks for being my support network! I look forward to many lazy days on my bed watching movies with you ladies!

To all my other family and friends, thanks for all your texts, emails, calls,  etc. 

A special thanks to my mom for all her work too!

My husband 

Not sure where to begin. Jay you are so amazing. I wish I could describe every instance where I was thankful to have you.  I know it is tough for you to see me in pain. It'll only get better. Thank you for being so strong, for supporting me, for tending to my every pillow adjustment, for bathing me, and for trying so hard to do my hair!  I truly love you more every day, I'm so lucky to have found such an amazing partner in you. I love you handsome husband!